October is always my month of being super reflective and thoughtful. Something about the colder weather makes me nostalgic.

October also makes me anxious. School is picking up, the holidays are approaching and there are so many holiday activities I feel like I need to do to really appreciate the season.

Sometimes I just need to write all of these feels out. It makes me whole in a way, to get all the things jumbled in my brain down into organized thoughts.

I really love who I am becoming. I have so much to work on still, so many things I need to do better. But in the past few years I have learned to love me. And love the flaws and love the chance I get to improve. I love that I just had to go to Smiths at 9:45 at night to buy a pumpkin candle. I love that I drove to Kaysville just for the afternoon to be with my mom and sisters for a lunch date. I love that I couldn't help but cry during the General Women's Meeting because of all the wonderful things that were said. I love that on a rainy Saturday I went to Scheel's and ate cinnamon roasted almonds and took pictures with stuffed bears. I love that I love fall. I love that counting days is exciting and terrifying now. I love that I know the entire Noodles and Company menu by heart. I love that I have a love/hate relationship with my computer coding class. I love that I love boots and sweaters as much as I love sandals and shorts as much as I love blazers and high heels. I love that my five hour producing class feels like 45 minutes long. I love that I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true and that it makes me so incredibly happy. I love that I want to tell that to others. I love that there are obstacles, people who dislike me, things that get in my way, and things that make me worry. Mainly, I love who I am and who I am trying to be.

Octobering